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Editor’s note: Sophia A. Nelson is a journalist and author of:Be the person you need: 21 life lessons I learned” The views expressed in this commentary are her own.opinion more opinions on CNN.
CNN
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It’s the beginning of a new year. We are coming through her once-in-a-generation, life-altering pandemic that has been almost three years since it began. We are all affected by the scourge of illness, hospitalization, death, loneliness, isolation, job disruption, and family disruption from COVID-19. Chances are, like me, you have contracted coronavirus and are living with its long-term effects.
During the Covid-19 outbreak, workers in education, nursing, hospitality and retail (women-dominated occupations) bore a significant share of the disease-related burden. And no group felt this more acutely than black and brown women.
Women struggle to balance self-care Meet family needs. But for black women, juggling these competing needs is often against the backdrop of generational trauma and emotional repression.
In the black community, women perfected compulsive selflessness into an art form. We are conditioned to serve the needs of others and exert superhuman strength, which leaves us exhausted, emotionally exhausted, and often unhealthy. I lost friends, sorority sisters, and mentors to stroke from high blood pressure, heart attacks, diabetes complications, and old-fashioned fatigue from lack of meaningful self-care.
The impact of environmental stress on black women is profound. One study found that by the time a black woman reached her 50s, the cost of stress on the body resulted in an additional 7 years of biological aging compared to white women. Black women are also more likely to die from breast cancer, heart disease, and diabetes.
Inger Barnett Ziegler, a clinical psychologist at Northwestern University, in her book The Trouble I Saw No One Knows: The Emotional Lives of Black Women, describes strong black women as “cultural icons.” It talks about the downsides of seeing
“Some black women don’t have the tools they need to deal with their emotions in a healthy way, and as a result eat unhealthy food, drink alcohol, and use illegal drugs. They may engage in unhealthy coping strategies, such as being sedentary, being sedentary, or being a workaholic. No,” she said in an interview about a study published last year.
In short, focusing on self-care is a survival issue for Black and Brown women.
My own Covid-19 journey started in February 2020. That’s when we catch early cases before testing and vaccines are implemented. I got sick while speaking at a conference in Louisiana. I was sick for a week with high fever, difficulty breathing and other complications.
A second mild case occurred in August 2021 after being vaccinated and boosted. I was lucky not to have to be hospitalized for either episode, but I’m still suffering from the long-term effects of Covid-19, including a damaged heart valve and problems with my right lung. That means prioritizing important self-care that you might otherwise have ignored.
Self-care isn’t about going to the beach or taking vacations.That is rest.
The self-care I want black women to practice is soul-liberating, the kind that allows us to be our true selves. The kind of things that allow us to freely style our hair, speak our truth, find healthier romantic partners, and make better friends.
The good news is that despite the weight of our times, we’re seeing examples of prominent black women saying enough is enough.It’s time to put our health first. Women like Olympic gymnast Simone Biles, tennis star Naomi Osaka and actress Taraji P. Henson have spoken out about the importance of mental health to their overall well-being. increase.
As a black woman now in her 50s, it has taken me years to learn that family and friends are important, but I am more important than anything else. I also learned that I have a right to joy, peace and self-care. I wrote about these hard knock lessons in my fourth book, Be the One You Need.
My hope is to share just a few of my own life experiences so that a new generation of Black girls and women will embrace a life filled with self-care, hope, joy, and physical and emotional health. It was meant to help educate and inspire.
But even if you’re neither black nor female, these lessons can help you too. What do I need? how do i really feel? Your inner voice provides the answers. Trust that you can find the courage to pursue the wisdom you already possess.
Here are three more things to keep in mind as you take care of your mental health as we head into the new year.
1. Self-care is a life strategy for success. It’s about setting healthy boundaries and ensuring those boundaries are respected by others. You must first change yourself and then accept that you can never change another person.
2. Prioritize your mental and emotional health above all else. If you’re not good for yourself, you’re not good for anyone. Mental and emotional well-being need attention, as does regular monitoring of weight, heart health, and blood pressure. It’s one of the many “wellness areas” that there are.
3. “No” is a complete sentence. This has really saved me a lot of heartache, unspoken resentment, and time. I no longer do things I don’t want to do to please others. I store energy only for things and people who deserve my energy.
Women in general, and black women in particular, often find it difficult to say no. And the reason I put my own needs at the center is the subtitle of my book, Life Lessons Learned Taking Care of Everyone But Me. is implied in It’s simply not sustainable.
Generations of Black women have watched our mothers, grandmothers, and aunts give, run, lift, build, and sacrifice. Protect yourself and provide for those in need and everyone. This new year we all have the opportunity to do better things for ourselves.
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