Opinion | I’m George Santos, I Won’t Lie To You

While we’re talking about the subject of hyperbole, I also have to clarify a few equally minor minor twists I’ve made to my resume. That lie about distortions in resumes is a giveaway!

When I said, “I worked for Goldman Sachs on Wall Street,” I meant Goldman Sachs. It is a human figure who paints himself gilded and plays the saxophone. But he’s on Wall Street.

When I said I went to Oxford like The Great Gatsby, I meant I didn’t go to Oxford.

When I said I own a dozen properties, I meant properties in the sense of “property.” Among these properties are height, weight, mass and density! That’s four more!

When I said I own six homes and one hotel, I meant the game of Monopoly I once played.

When I said, “I won the Pulitzer Prize,” that was a misquote. I want Pulitzer Prize. ’ Those T’s will catch you every time!

When you say, “I invented penicillin!” I was joking.

When I said, “You can cross the river on my back, and I certainly won’t stab you,” I meant it then. people change.

When I said, “I have a Purple Heart,” I literally meant being in my body.

When I said “I HAVE AN EGOT,” I thought that was the spelling for ego. Those T’s will catch you every time! Also, Caps Lock is stuck.

When I said it meant “Where is my money coming from? Never mind”. I will never mislead you about wanting to keep my sources of funding as mysterious as possible!

When I said, “The Nobel Prize in Chemistry is the prize I received,” everything in that sentence was true except for the last three words.

When I said, “I am not a cheater,” I meant a shepherd cheater. Obviously I am a person.

When I said it sounded like “I have not committed a crime”, I was actually saying “I have not committed a NE crime”.

When I said, ‘I’m Sally Sullenberger. I worked miracles on the Hudson. This is my real life story. !” I mispronounced again. I was trying to say, “Never lie to the people of New York’s Third District!”

When I said, “What I say about myself matters, because our typical political system is one where people choose someone to vote and legislate on their behalf.” Because they must be able to trust the character of the person they give them.Their voice.The story they were told was a lie and they handed their power into the hands of someone who had no idea of ​​their power. If anyone knows anything about the origin of that money and indeed their own origin, this is a serious breach of trust!Or I am not good old trustworthy Jewish gay Republican George Santos! ’ I said, ‘My name is not technically good old credible Jewish gay Republican George Santos!