It cost me $48,000 in my boyfriend’s debts and cryptocurrency losses. can you trust him?

dear penny

My boyfriend of 3 years charged my credit card for $10,000, but he finally stopped. He started a business with a food truck and says he won’t worry because he will pay me back. Well, he only gives me $300 a month, but $160 is interest.

He lives with me on $300 rent and $200 bills. The rent is $1000. He says it’s a hard time now and he can’t get a credit card because he got rejected because of a “low credit score.” But I have never seen any evidence in the form of a letter of refusal. He tells me he loves me everyday.

In crypto he let me invest $40,000 and assured me he knew what he was doing. He hasn’t shown me anything so I really don’t know if he moved it to his crypto wallet or what he did.

He is not clear with me and I hate arguing and arguing. I have. what should i do?

-L.

dear L.

Manipulative people thrive when others are in constant confusion, so don’t expect clarity from your boyfriend.

You know you can’t trust your boyfriend. I know he sucked nearly $50,000 out of you in his three years. If you stop, you will continue to bleed. I think you know what to do: you should end this relationship.

I hope you can change the keys tomorrow and keep him out of your life. However, once you dump him, you won’t be able to get his cooperation, so it’s important to be prepared, even if you have to put it off a little. Avoid bringing up relationship issues or a lack of trust in the conversations needed. Stick to immediate financial issues.

Your boyfriend owes you nearly $11,000, so ask him to sign a promissory note for your peace of mind. You will have in writing that you have agreed to pay him back. , no judgment will be given. If your boyfriend has no income or assets, your chances of getting your money back are slim.

Make sure to remove your boyfriend from your credit account if he has an approved user status. please. You should also get each credit report at AnnualCreditReport.com and make sure he has no additional debt in your name.

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You also need to get information about the crypto he bought with your money. And given that cryptocurrencies are notoriously confusing and full of outlandish claims, I would be hesitant to ask a question here.

But what you really need to understand here are the five Ws. That is, what kind of cryptocurrency he bought, where he stored it, when he bought it, etc. I don’t rule out the possibility that he received some of that money, but just today he might be worth $2,000. You can tell him that you need the information as we are considering cashing out and deducting some of the losses for tax purposes.

Finally, you need a plan for your living situation. I don’t know if both your names are leased, but even if it’s just your name, your state may consider him a tenant because he pays some fees If you want to stay and you don’t think your boyfriend will leave even if you dump him, I recommend that you speak to a lawyer about the process to formally evict him. .

Even if you follow all the advice I’ve just given, it’s important to be realistic.You may not get your money back. But don’t let that reality get in the way of your progress.

Think about the lessons you can apply to future relationships. Don’t borrow money for your future partner or let them invest money on your behalf.

But it’s not just the economy that matters. When someone responds to your legitimate concern by saying, “Don’t worry, I love you,” your reflexes should kick in. Arguing is healthy in a relationship. So don’t ignore the reality that the fear of fighting is staring right in front of you.

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Robin Hartill is a Certified Financial Planner and Senior Writer for The Penny Hoarder.Send your tricky money questions to AskPenny@thepennyhoarder.com.