Caregivers need to find support for themselves too – The Virginian-Pilot

During the holidays, we all prepare sweet potato pies and order them for my mother. She doesn’t typically use measurements in recipes, so without seeing her in action, you can’t tell how much butter, nutmeg, cinnamon, and vanilla is in her award-winning sweet potato pie.

There was no pie this year. My mother no longer remembered the ingredients and wrote them down to replicate the recipe successfully. caregivers are those who care for others who are struggling to manage their daily tasks due to illness, injury or disability. I do not receive financial support to live.

Being the oldest in my family, I was forced into the role of my mother’s primary caregiver. Tasks include learning the language used, understanding conditions, dealing with insurance and medications, finding money to pay for services, and performing routine tasks such as shopping for groceries and getting your hair done. It arises from securing additional support by opening the house so that it can be used.

Being a full-time caregiver can be overwhelming. Even though I work full-time and have recently completed graduate school, the responsibilities of being a full-time caregiver have many ups and downs. Part of spending time with my mom is making memories for me and doing things she wants to do like taking a car ride in the country or letting the sun kiss our faces. Some days she doesn’t want to leave her room, but we stay there with the blinds closed, cut off from the rest of the world.

Family and friends may not be able to provide emotional and physical support. However, the desire to manifest in some way is personal. There is no judgment for those who might get out of an overwhelming situation, because everyone is different. She showed up at her most vulnerable moment and I consider it an honor and an act of love for her to serve her to the best of my ability.

Life is complicated because of the act of balancing priorities. Practicing self-care best practices is very important to our sanity. The study points to self-care as a priority for caregivers. Here are some suggested tips:

1. Stay connected with your support systems (family, friends, support groups, networks)

2. Take care of your health needs (healthy eating, physical exams)

3. Reduce stress (relaxation, meditation, exercise, yoga, journaling, rest)

4. Participate in counseling (coping with grief, loss and stress)

5. Stay Spiritual

A friend advised me to contact Vinti Circle to expand their support system. The opportunity to connect with them began through Zoom and last month we attended an in-person retreat for caregivers. I tried not to feel guilty about leaving, but I needed reprieve from everything.

The platform for discussion, activities and bonding was perfect. We are all across the country, so we share updates with our loved ones all the time. We ask each other questions and share resources. The group is non-judgmental, safe and even shares their frustrations. My ability to connect with these women has made friends for life.

Here are some other recommendations to connect for information, service, and support.

Find a support system because caregiving is meant to be done as a community. Remember you are not alone. Seek opportunities to take care of yourself as well.

Melissa Fanning Dr. Carrollton is a caregiver, author, youth advocate, and a graduate of Virginia Tech and St. Leo University.send her an email 1birthingpurpose@gmail.com.