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In the midst of the pandemic, COVID-era restrictions caused apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge to skyrocket in popularity, and people tried them out Zoom date. But while the dating world is now (somewhat) back to normal, many singles still feel less comfortable with the game. You say dating is hard.
Enter matchmaking, a centuries-old practice that may be particularly well-suited to address today’s dating problems.
Popular culture brought Yente with Fiddler on the Roof and, most recently, the Netflix sensation Indian Matchmaking. Modern matchmakers are now offering low-tech options to singles who find themselves “back in the country of life” in the post-pandemic current, according to Jill Vander, matchmaker for the Boston-based service. doing. LunchDates have been around for decades.
For some people looking for love, one-on-one attention, insight, and hand-picked matches from another human being are more appealing than the barrage of algorithms and privacy concerns that come with dating apps. stretch option.
Business is also booming for many matchmaking services in the Boston area.
“The matchmaking business as a whole is booming,” said Vandor, noting that business has increased by more than 25% compared to pre-pandemic figures. “Especially here in Boston, people walk fast and talk fast. became.”
Finding a relationship seems to have been the bottom line for many: According to Match’s latest Singles in America survey, released in November, 48% of singles said finding a partner was “more While dating apps have spawned a ‘hookup culture’, the pandemic has spurred a push towards ‘conscious dating’, the motivation to build more intentional connections, Match says survey said.
And conscious dating happens to be the specialty of matchmakers. Matchmaking services typically interview clients in person, or via Zoom in the wake of COVID, to identify essential qualities, deal-breakers, and more before setting up a date. , political leanings, religious affiliations, etc.
This pre-screening is designed to increase your chances of compatible matches, weed out superficial daters, and provide clients with a manageable number of prospects. matchmakers schedule client dates, rent wardrobes, and take photos for their profiles.
“Especially on dating apps, it’s like you’re looking for a quick connection, but using this process actually slows you down,” says Nia, Boston-based matchmaker at Three Day Rule. said Divris. Percentage increase in business from pre-pandemic figures.
However, this slow process doesn’t come cheap. Matchmaking fees vary by service, but typically run in the thousands (for example, the 3-day rule has a minimum fee of $5,900, while LunchDates typically start at $3,000). Most matchmakers run free-to-join databases to create a large pool of potential candidates, but unlike signing up as a client, there’s no guarantee of a match.
But some clients pay for safety — Concerns about dating apps pre-pandemic. Tara Goodwin, who lives in Walpole and runs a PR firm, became a client of LunchDates after several unpleasant experiences with dating app matching. Turning to a professional matchmaking service put her at ease.
“They have a good idea of who they are before introducing you, so they’re already a step ahead,” says Goodwin, who met her partner of three years Tony in 2019 through LunchDates. after 6 introductions.
Susie McDowell, who runs Boston-based matchmaking service Susie Q Matchmaking, said privacy is the “top” reason clients seek her services. This includes so-called digital natives. Her clientele used to run from her 40s to her 60s crowd, but these days it’s “all over the board” including people in their mid-to-late 20s.
In addition to judging and pairing matches, many matchmakers also act as dating coaches, asking why previous partners didn’t work out, what an ideal partnership would look like, and how to end a set-up that didn’t work out. For Bina, her matchmaker was “almost like a therapist,” she says, and she believes that “the relationship really helped her find a husband.”
This one-on-one approach fits well with broader cultural trends for personalized service, said Kelly Cronin, a professor of philosophy at Boston University. He made headlines many years ago by giving special credit to students who asked him out on a date. Dating apps tend to be “more noise in our lives” But matchmakers may be better equipped to help clients rewrite the “lost social script” of dating.
“[People are] If they’re willing to pay a high price for fancy coffee, they’re willing to pay for a private trainer,” says Cronin. “It’s the rise of individualized, curated experiences.”
Now the question is whether matchmaking will become less attractive as singles continue to recover from the aftershocks of the pandemic. hopes to see excitement build up among prospects. endure.
“They’re back home. They’ve been on the app. They’ve probably done a lot of Zoom dating and now they know what they’re looking for. They’re really serious. Me I realized people weren’t playing games, they’re very real right now,” she said. “Because they’ve had a lot of time to think about it.”
Dana Gerber can be reached at dana.gerber@globe.com. follow her on her twitter @danagerber6.
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