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Opinion holder entrepreneur Contributors are their own.
According to the landmark Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study conducted by CDC-Permanente, two-thirds of Americans report at least one of the following “big ‘T’ traumas”: Separation, substance abuse, incarceration, violence, mental illness. In 5 he reported 1 her 3 or more. It’s important to note that this study was conducted between his 1995 and his 1997 years, when few people spoke about their own trauma. That’s still true for many people today, but given that stress, anxiety, PTSD, depression, and other mental health issues are so prevalent, those numbers are likely much higher.
It’s no surprise that some people start businesses to fill unmet needs from an early age.
Entrepreneurship, I believe, can be a traumatic reaction for many of us. From first-hand experience with 4 out of 9 ACE and a lot of trauma healing and integration work, launching his own digital marketing agency is an attempt to recreate the environment in which he is valued. It turns out that there is.
As a child, I was unloved by one of my primary caregivers and didn’t feel like I was valued, so in adulthood I tried to solve my youth needs as an entrepreneur. .
RELATED: Career trauma is real. Here’s how to recognize it and recover from it.
How past trauma manifests itself in business
Young psychological scars can manifest in business in several ways, depending on the specific childhood experiences that affected you and the attachment styles you may have developed. is a concrete example of how this has manifested itself for me as a cause marketing agency owner for 14 years.
perfectionism: I was inadvertently taught as a child that I needed to earn my mother’s love, so I was a straight-A student in AP classes and always an honors student. was serving. That might sound like the outcome you want for your kids, but that perfectionist tendency hindered my ability to fully trust my team.
overwork: Like other forms of distraction from deeper suffering, working long hours is a form of addiction. In our society, overwork is rewarded and, in some cases, even expected by some employers. In my case, my ego was so bound to his identity as CEO that I couldn’t zoom out and see the maladaptive behavior I was exhibiting. It took a toll on my marriage, my physical health, and my mental health, one of the reasons I was completely burnt out at 36.
Interesting attachment: Even though I had a loyal relationship with my employees, I was constantly worried that they would leave the company (i.e. me) because I told myself I was not a good enough leader. was This led me to support them in many unconventional ways. This looked like conscious leadership from the outside, but the shadow side was a combination of fear of being abandoned and lack of self-worth.
Fear of loss: It was absurd and had never happened in 14 years, but I was afraid of lawsuits. I was afraid that an unreasonable client would sue my company and lose everything instantly. My fear of loss and abandonment was so strong that I was always aware of such threats when they were out of sight.
Concept of scarcity: I can’t count the nights I woke up in a cold sweat or couldn’t sleep because of money worries. Adverse childhood experiences have instilled in me that I am not good enough, never good enough, and will inevitably fail. I couldn’t believe it was within reach.
RELATED: How a childhood incident sparked his unhealthy drive for success
Recreate your ideal environment
I had never really dealt with the emotional experiences of my agency days, or the grief I felt after selling my company, so I took some of that with me into the next phase of my career.
It takes courage and consistent work to identify when the nervous system activates, remember when that sensation first appeared, and recognize the difference between your body’s past reactions and the reality of the situation. The event will continue to happen, but the reward for all hard work is not to react in the same chaotic manner as before.
RELATED: 8 Self-Care Tips From Highly Successful Entrepreneurs
It also helps as a leader to proactively create and improve better conditions. For me, overwork as an agency owner was the default. So in my new role I did the opposite. Over the past seven years, I’ve worked my way down the ladder to a three-day workweek. I hired an incredible executive his assistant and delegated as much as he could handle (a good deal) between two different businesses. And most importantly, I consistently work on a combination of wellness modalities, healing practices, and integration work to keep me small and reduce the fears, anxieties, and mindsets that keep me alive internally.
If any of these resonate, consider whether you think you may have unwittingly created a leadership role for yourself out of trauma reactions. mosquito. Compassion for yourself is important here as you begin to remember and process the past in order to see the present with new eyes.
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